So today is a new day. I woke up feeling a bit better than last night. I am still a little frustrated with the whole emotional eating thing. I thought I was doing much better than I am. I am going to look into some books to read on the subject so if you have any suggestions on a good one, please let me know. I really want to get to the bottom of this and to learn some other ways of dealing with emotional stress/tiredness. I really need to break the connection between my emotions and food.
I slept in until about 9:30 and then I got ready to go to the gym. I was dragging my butt a bit but not quite like last night. My workout was good, by normal standards, but it was not the usual kick a$$ workout that I would usually have. I was able to do some thinking about emotional eating while doing my cardio and hopefully I have discovered a few things.
I was thinking how I let myself get to the state that I was in and I thought that I should just avoid situations that will put me in that state and then I will not have to deal with the issue of emotional eating. But realistically you can't avoid emotional stress and tiredness all your life so I really have to get to the bottom of it and learn how to deal with it in a different way. Now I just have to figure out how to do that!
In order to reach my full potential and get to my goal I really need to conquer this. Today, I have found a new determination to beat this thing and get to where I want to be. I think I have the physical part figured out, but the emotional/mental part seems to be the part that is holding me back. Well, I am going to put a stop to that.
I want to feel Sexy, Smart and Strong both physically and mentally and I am not going to stop until I accomplish just that!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Can We Say Tired & Negative??
Ok, so I want to just go to bed but I need to get this out before I go to sleep because I will not be able to express this properly in the morning after a good nights sleep. The feelings will be gone and I will not write about it and I feel I need to write about this because I am hoping that my ramblings can help someone else that is struggling with the same thing...unless I am the only one with these issues.
Tonight, my body is tired after going to the gym and having a, well the only way to say it is, a sucky workout. I had planned to do 1 hour of cardio and 1/2 hour of stretching...but that didn't happen. I arrived at the gym at about 7:30 and got into my workout clothes. Now, to make this clear, when I walked into the gym, I was emotionally and physically tired and was wondering if I should actually go to the gym. There are times when going to the gym when feeling emotionally tired and stressed is a good thing. Add in being physically tired and you have a recipe for disaster...as in my case tonight!
I think there is a huge difference between being emotionally or physically tired. When I am physically tired, I can overcome the tiredness by resting and getting a good sleep. When I am emotionally tired, I can get myself into alot of trouble with food and negative thoughts. It is much harder for me to overcome the emotional tiredness/stress.
I know that I am still an emotional eater and I will likely be one for the rest of my life, like a recovering alcoholic. They are alcoholics for life. What I need to do is to break the connection between my emotions and food. Does anyone know how to do that? Is it something that I have to work out myself? Can anyone ever fully recover from being an emotional eater or am I going to have to struggle with this for the rest of my life?? Why do I turn to food for emotional comfort? These are all questions that I would love to have the answer to.
I feel so tired right now and emotionally drained that I just really want to go to bed. But I need to say a little more about my feelings tonight.
I did only 25 minutes of cardio at the gym and a bit of stretching and then decided to call it a night and I went into the sauna and had a shower. I cut my workout short because I was physically and emotionlly tired and my body is sore. My knees are sore, my hip is sore and I have something going on with one of my legs that is giving me a lot of pain.
While I was working out, I was thinking of the Johnny Miles 5 km race that is on Sunday. I have a goal to run the 5k in under 30 minutes. I was thinking about how I was going to work through the pain and reach my goal. I got to thinking that if the pain is still there on Sunday there is a very rare chance that I will be able to reach my goal. I don't like it when my goals are not reached and then I feel like a failure. I started thinking that I may be better off not running in the Johnny Miles at all. If I don't run than I can't fail...right!?!? Oh, the negativity!
Now when I was leaving the gym I was feeling like a failure because my workout was sucky and I had the desire to eat pizza. I know that the only reason that I want the pizza is due to the fact that I feel emotionally tired. I really don't want to eat for emotional reasons. I want to eat because my body needs fuel. I started feeling worse because I realized that I was still an emotional eater and I thought that I had made some progress in that area. Apparently, I still have a lot of work to do with this. This added more fuel to the fire and I wanted the pizza more. But, I knew that I could not give into my feelings because that is what the old Dawn would have done. I want to change my life and to have the pizza because of emotional reasons would be taking steps backwards and I only want to move forward.
I wonder, if I had just went home instead of going to the gym tonight, would I have been faced with these feelings? Did I try to push myself to much and it backfired? Maybe I need to listen to my body and my feelings a little more instead of ignoring what it is trying to tell me.
At this moment, I am not sure if I have made progress with my emotional eating issue. My thoughts are starting to jumble together because I am soo tired. I think I will get some sleep and revisit my situation in the morning. Hopefully, a good sleep will help me to move forward with this.
Tonight, my body is tired after going to the gym and having a, well the only way to say it is, a sucky workout. I had planned to do 1 hour of cardio and 1/2 hour of stretching...but that didn't happen. I arrived at the gym at about 7:30 and got into my workout clothes. Now, to make this clear, when I walked into the gym, I was emotionally and physically tired and was wondering if I should actually go to the gym. There are times when going to the gym when feeling emotionally tired and stressed is a good thing. Add in being physically tired and you have a recipe for disaster...as in my case tonight!
I think there is a huge difference between being emotionally or physically tired. When I am physically tired, I can overcome the tiredness by resting and getting a good sleep. When I am emotionally tired, I can get myself into alot of trouble with food and negative thoughts. It is much harder for me to overcome the emotional tiredness/stress.
I know that I am still an emotional eater and I will likely be one for the rest of my life, like a recovering alcoholic. They are alcoholics for life. What I need to do is to break the connection between my emotions and food. Does anyone know how to do that? Is it something that I have to work out myself? Can anyone ever fully recover from being an emotional eater or am I going to have to struggle with this for the rest of my life?? Why do I turn to food for emotional comfort? These are all questions that I would love to have the answer to.
I feel so tired right now and emotionally drained that I just really want to go to bed. But I need to say a little more about my feelings tonight.
I did only 25 minutes of cardio at the gym and a bit of stretching and then decided to call it a night and I went into the sauna and had a shower. I cut my workout short because I was physically and emotionlly tired and my body is sore. My knees are sore, my hip is sore and I have something going on with one of my legs that is giving me a lot of pain.
While I was working out, I was thinking of the Johnny Miles 5 km race that is on Sunday. I have a goal to run the 5k in under 30 minutes. I was thinking about how I was going to work through the pain and reach my goal. I got to thinking that if the pain is still there on Sunday there is a very rare chance that I will be able to reach my goal. I don't like it when my goals are not reached and then I feel like a failure. I started thinking that I may be better off not running in the Johnny Miles at all. If I don't run than I can't fail...right!?!? Oh, the negativity!
Now when I was leaving the gym I was feeling like a failure because my workout was sucky and I had the desire to eat pizza. I know that the only reason that I want the pizza is due to the fact that I feel emotionally tired. I really don't want to eat for emotional reasons. I want to eat because my body needs fuel. I started feeling worse because I realized that I was still an emotional eater and I thought that I had made some progress in that area. Apparently, I still have a lot of work to do with this. This added more fuel to the fire and I wanted the pizza more. But, I knew that I could not give into my feelings because that is what the old Dawn would have done. I want to change my life and to have the pizza because of emotional reasons would be taking steps backwards and I only want to move forward.
I wonder, if I had just went home instead of going to the gym tonight, would I have been faced with these feelings? Did I try to push myself to much and it backfired? Maybe I need to listen to my body and my feelings a little more instead of ignoring what it is trying to tell me.
At this moment, I am not sure if I have made progress with my emotional eating issue. My thoughts are starting to jumble together because I am soo tired. I think I will get some sleep and revisit my situation in the morning. Hopefully, a good sleep will help me to move forward with this.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Upcoming Johnny Miles 5k
It is one week till the Johnny Miles 5 km run and they are calling for showers the day of the race. Are you suprised? I would actually rather that it rains than be hot on race day.
I have not been out running since the Bluenose so I am concerned about how I will do. I really want to run the 5 kms in less than 30 minutes. I think it will be hard since my knee is still sore from the Bluenose 5k which I ran almost a month ago. I am really going to have to push through the pain to run at the pace that I want to and hope that I don't injure it more. I really am determinted to reach my goal at the Johnny Miles.
Does anyone have any words of advise for running with a sore knee?
I have not been out running since the Bluenose so I am concerned about how I will do. I really want to run the 5 kms in less than 30 minutes. I think it will be hard since my knee is still sore from the Bluenose 5k which I ran almost a month ago. I am really going to have to push through the pain to run at the pace that I want to and hope that I don't injure it more. I really am determinted to reach my goal at the Johnny Miles.
Does anyone have any words of advise for running with a sore knee?
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Just for Today
"Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive."
-Lucy MacDonald
I need to get the negative thoughts out of my head. The way to do it, is to focus on the positive. so that is what I am going to do!
-Lucy MacDonald
I need to get the negative thoughts out of my head. The way to do it, is to focus on the positive. so that is what I am going to do!
Bluenose 5 km Run
A couple of weeks ago, I participated in the Bluenose 5 km run. I had been looking forward to participating in this run because last year I had sit on the side of Citadel Hill watching everyone else enjoy the experience of the run. I felt left out last year on the side of the hill and I didn't want to feel like that ever again. I wanted to be in the physical shape that would allow me to participate and now I can say that I am.
The last run that I did was the Fit-4-Lit 5k in April and my time was 32:08. My goal for 5km is to be able to run it in less than 30 mins. I was hoping that I would be able to achieve that goal at the Bluenose. In order to reach that goal, I would have to cut 2:08 from my time. That is quite a chunk of time to cut in one month especially since I had not run since then, but I was determined that I was going to do it!
The weather was perfect, as far as I was concerned. It was on the cool side and it was not raining. I actually would rather it be raining than a nice warm sunny day for a run.
I met up with some friends from the gym, Allana and Rebecca and we started the run together. We were the last ones to cross the start line and I was feeling really good.
Allana is a beautiful, natural runner. She makes running look easy! She is a faster runner than I am and I knew that I would not be able to run the whole way with her but I wanted to keep her in my view for as long as I could. Since we were the last ones to cross the start line, we ended up passing quite a lot of people who were walking on the run so it was hard to keep my eye on her. There were times that she would slow down and let me catch up to her. Then she would go just far enough ahead to give me something to run towards.
We were running along and before I knew it, we were at the 1 km mark. I felt really good and looked at my watch and saw that I was pretty much on track for finishing the run in under 30 minutes. BUT, I still had 4 kms to go. The 2nd km mark came pretty quickly but I also knew that it is about the 3 km mark that it starts to get hard for me. I tried not to focus on the fact that I still had the toughest kms left and I decided to take it 1 km at a time.
I was familiar with the course and knew that there was a hill at the end of the run and that I would need to leave a little extra for that last hill.
I was concentrating on my breathing and my stride and staying strong. I told myself, "I am strong, I can do this" and I repeated it to myself over and over again. Then I was at the 3 km mark. I thought to myself, "Wow, I feel really good for being at the 3 km mark." I checked my watch and I knew that I was close to being able to finish in under 30 mins. I just had to keep up my pace and finish strong.
Up to this point, the course was basically flat, but we had come across a bit of a downhill. I really tried to take advantage of the downhill to get a bit ahead to help me out at the end of the run with the hill that I was going to have to face.
The 4 km mark was right in front of me and I knew that it was going to be really close. I began to pick up my pace a little and I was feeling good...then the hill was upon me!
I looked at my watch and saw that it was going to be too close to call and I really wanted to make it in under 30 mins so I decided to lay it all out there. I picked up my pace and decided that I was going to do whatever it took to get there. I kept going and going and going and then it caught up with me. I did NOT have control of my breathing, I had an incredible urge to pee and I had an overwhelming feeling that I was going to vomit...but I kept going. Until I began to retch! Yes, you read it right, I began to retch...so I had to walk. Allana tried to encourage me to continue running but the retching was keeping me from running. I really did not want to vomit, so I walked about 30 seconds or so. Once I got control of my breathing the retching stopped and the urge to pee went away and I was able to run across the finish line.
I knew that I had not finished the run in under 30 min but I also knew that I was pretty close. I figured that my time was around 31 mins which I was happy with compared to my last run.
I received my participation metal and went inside for some fuel...a granola bar, yogurt, and chocolate milk.
Afterwards, I checked the finish times and my time was 30:41. Over all, I am happy with my time. Especially considering that I had cut 1:27 from my last time.
You know what...the Johnny Miles 5 km run is a few weeks away and I AM GOING TO DO IT IN UNDER 30 MINS! So stay tuned to hear about it!
The last run that I did was the Fit-4-Lit 5k in April and my time was 32:08. My goal for 5km is to be able to run it in less than 30 mins. I was hoping that I would be able to achieve that goal at the Bluenose. In order to reach that goal, I would have to cut 2:08 from my time. That is quite a chunk of time to cut in one month especially since I had not run since then, but I was determined that I was going to do it!
The weather was perfect, as far as I was concerned. It was on the cool side and it was not raining. I actually would rather it be raining than a nice warm sunny day for a run.
I met up with some friends from the gym, Allana and Rebecca and we started the run together. We were the last ones to cross the start line and I was feeling really good.
Allana is a beautiful, natural runner. She makes running look easy! She is a faster runner than I am and I knew that I would not be able to run the whole way with her but I wanted to keep her in my view for as long as I could. Since we were the last ones to cross the start line, we ended up passing quite a lot of people who were walking on the run so it was hard to keep my eye on her. There were times that she would slow down and let me catch up to her. Then she would go just far enough ahead to give me something to run towards.
We were running along and before I knew it, we were at the 1 km mark. I felt really good and looked at my watch and saw that I was pretty much on track for finishing the run in under 30 minutes. BUT, I still had 4 kms to go. The 2nd km mark came pretty quickly but I also knew that it is about the 3 km mark that it starts to get hard for me. I tried not to focus on the fact that I still had the toughest kms left and I decided to take it 1 km at a time.
I was familiar with the course and knew that there was a hill at the end of the run and that I would need to leave a little extra for that last hill.
I was concentrating on my breathing and my stride and staying strong. I told myself, "I am strong, I can do this" and I repeated it to myself over and over again. Then I was at the 3 km mark. I thought to myself, "Wow, I feel really good for being at the 3 km mark." I checked my watch and I knew that I was close to being able to finish in under 30 mins. I just had to keep up my pace and finish strong.
Up to this point, the course was basically flat, but we had come across a bit of a downhill. I really tried to take advantage of the downhill to get a bit ahead to help me out at the end of the run with the hill that I was going to have to face.
The 4 km mark was right in front of me and I knew that it was going to be really close. I began to pick up my pace a little and I was feeling good...then the hill was upon me!
I looked at my watch and saw that it was going to be too close to call and I really wanted to make it in under 30 mins so I decided to lay it all out there. I picked up my pace and decided that I was going to do whatever it took to get there. I kept going and going and going and then it caught up with me. I did NOT have control of my breathing, I had an incredible urge to pee and I had an overwhelming feeling that I was going to vomit...but I kept going. Until I began to retch! Yes, you read it right, I began to retch...so I had to walk. Allana tried to encourage me to continue running but the retching was keeping me from running. I really did not want to vomit, so I walked about 30 seconds or so. Once I got control of my breathing the retching stopped and the urge to pee went away and I was able to run across the finish line.
I knew that I had not finished the run in under 30 min but I also knew that I was pretty close. I figured that my time was around 31 mins which I was happy with compared to my last run.
I received my participation metal and went inside for some fuel...a granola bar, yogurt, and chocolate milk.
Afterwards, I checked the finish times and my time was 30:41. Over all, I am happy with my time. Especially considering that I had cut 1:27 from my last time.
You know what...the Johnny Miles 5 km run is a few weeks away and I AM GOING TO DO IT IN UNDER 30 MINS! So stay tuned to hear about it!
Birthday Cake
On Tuesday, I will be the mother of a 16 year old. That's right, my little baby boy is going to be turning 16. Saying that makes me feel really old.
Anyway, we celebrated today with some family. We bbq'd homemade hamburgers which were really tasty. We make regular beef burgers and some burgers made with extra lean chicken. Obviously, I had the ones that were made with chicken. They were absolutely delicious. Remind me to post about hamburger buns sometime, I have alot to say about them so it will have to be a post on its own at another time.
I am really close to hitting ONEderland. My scale this am said that I weigh 200.4 lbs. I am so close that I can smell ONEderland. I know that within the next few days I will be there and I really don't want anything to stand in my way of getting there. Now remember in the beginning of this post I said that we were celebrating a birthday in our house this weekend. Birthdays mean cake and cake means lots of sugar and calories which does not fit in the equation for getting to ONEderland.
I told myself and my trainer at the gym today that even though we were celebrating a birthday, I really did not need to eat cake. Well that is easy to say when you are sweating...at the gym! It is a completely different story when you are sitting a your kitchen table, with everyone eating cake and you can see and smell the cake. I can't believe how wonderful cake smells. It had been a long time since we had a cake in the house and I must say that as soon as I smelled the cake I was salivating and I thought "I really have to have a piece of this cake." But I know that if I were to have one piece of cake, I would eat another and another and another one until it was all gone. I also know that in order to get to my goal I need to be able to say no to many things like cake. I had to ask to myself "what do I want more, the cake, or to reach my goal". The true answer was that at that time I really wanted the cake more. So I tried to think about how I would feel after I ate the cake. I know I would feel disappointed in myself and it would feel gross in my tummy. I thought to myself, if I ate this cake, what good things would it do for me. It would give me temperary satisfaction but in the long run, or even 10 minutes after eating it, what would it do for me. The answer was that it would do nothing good for me, it would only be a negative thing for me and I am trying to eliminate all the negative things from my life these days. Yes, I have been letting some negative things in my life get to me lately. That's another post too.
All this was going through my head with MY piece of cake sitting in front of me. As I was having this conversation with myself, my husband had cut the cake and put MY piece in front of me. I sat there looking at it, not paying attention to the conversation that was going on at the table. I was in my own little world having my own conversation.
The end result was that I didn't eat the cake and I feel fantastic about my decision and I know that I will reach ONEderland in no time.
Anyway, we celebrated today with some family. We bbq'd homemade hamburgers which were really tasty. We make regular beef burgers and some burgers made with extra lean chicken. Obviously, I had the ones that were made with chicken. They were absolutely delicious. Remind me to post about hamburger buns sometime, I have alot to say about them so it will have to be a post on its own at another time.
I am really close to hitting ONEderland. My scale this am said that I weigh 200.4 lbs. I am so close that I can smell ONEderland. I know that within the next few days I will be there and I really don't want anything to stand in my way of getting there. Now remember in the beginning of this post I said that we were celebrating a birthday in our house this weekend. Birthdays mean cake and cake means lots of sugar and calories which does not fit in the equation for getting to ONEderland.
I told myself and my trainer at the gym today that even though we were celebrating a birthday, I really did not need to eat cake. Well that is easy to say when you are sweating...at the gym! It is a completely different story when you are sitting a your kitchen table, with everyone eating cake and you can see and smell the cake. I can't believe how wonderful cake smells. It had been a long time since we had a cake in the house and I must say that as soon as I smelled the cake I was salivating and I thought "I really have to have a piece of this cake." But I know that if I were to have one piece of cake, I would eat another and another and another one until it was all gone. I also know that in order to get to my goal I need to be able to say no to many things like cake. I had to ask to myself "what do I want more, the cake, or to reach my goal". The true answer was that at that time I really wanted the cake more. So I tried to think about how I would feel after I ate the cake. I know I would feel disappointed in myself and it would feel gross in my tummy. I thought to myself, if I ate this cake, what good things would it do for me. It would give me temperary satisfaction but in the long run, or even 10 minutes after eating it, what would it do for me. The answer was that it would do nothing good for me, it would only be a negative thing for me and I am trying to eliminate all the negative things from my life these days. Yes, I have been letting some negative things in my life get to me lately. That's another post too.
All this was going through my head with MY piece of cake sitting in front of me. As I was having this conversation with myself, my husband had cut the cake and put MY piece in front of me. I sat there looking at it, not paying attention to the conversation that was going on at the table. I was in my own little world having my own conversation.
The end result was that I didn't eat the cake and I feel fantastic about my decision and I know that I will reach ONEderland in no time.
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