I have been kind of quiet on here lately. I have been quite busy and have not had very much time to myself. I feel like I need a break but it will have to wait until after the holidays. It seems that there is just too much to do and not enough time to complete it all.

I haven't been doing so well with my nutrition lately. I am going to the gym and working out lots, like usual, but I have been giving in to too many temptations in the past few weeks and not preparing healthy food ahead of time. My weight has stayed about the same, fluctuating within a pound or so. I had wanted to get another 5 lbs off so that my New Year's dress would fit a bit better, but it does not look like that I going to happen.

I really want to be at my goal weight but it seems that when the temptations cross my path, I forget that I have a goal...or maybe I want the temptation more than I want my goal at the time. It could also be more of an emotional thing. I used to be an emotional eater and I thought that I had changed that about myself. I guess I still need to work at it.

Right now I am very tired physically and emotionally and I want to eat all sugary and salty things. Thank goodness I don't have anything in the house that is full of sugar or salt because I would eat it all right now and I am too tired to drive to the store to get it.

I was so tired physically after the gym that I actually had a nap! I don't have naps anymore. It is so unlike me to be so tired. I think my body is telling me that it needs a rest. I will have a hard time getting to the gym over the next week or so because of my work schedule and that may be a good thing. Hopefully, it will give my body the rest it needs.

I also find myself really emotional today. I was doing the dishes and thinking about how I changed my life in a positive way and I teared up. I was wondering how my life would be right now if I had not worked on getting healthier. I definately would not be as happy as I am now. Then, I had feelings of being very selfish. I am spending a lot of time and money on going to the gym and buying new clothes and how a lot of attention has been put on me and my weight and I began to wonder if I am missing things that are going on in Brandon and Joey's life. I must take the time to talk to them about this. I was also thinking how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband and son.

I know what it is that I need to do to get my nutrition back on track, I just don't seem to be doing it. I need to start making better decisions. I am hoping that the New Year will bring my drive and determination to reach my goal back to me.

My Personal Mission Statement

I am reposting my mission statement to keep it where others can find it easily. I read it from time to time to make sure that I am living by it. So, here it is...

I will cherish every sunrise, embrace and see each day as not just another day, but one filled with opportunity and excitement.

I will live each day with courage and a belief in myself and others.

I will live by the values of integrity, honesty, respect, freedom of choice and a love of all God's people.

I will treasure my family.

I will live each day with respect for myself and others, facing life's challenges as they come and learning from my mistakes in order to become a stronger person.

I pledge my respect to my employers and I will strive every day to earn their respect.

I will keep my mind and body healthy and strong.

I will enrich my life and the lives of all who cross my path or share my hearth, by caring, by affirming their unique worth in love, by giving what I have to give and by accepting what they have to give me.

I will be known by my family as a caring and loving wife and mother; by my coworkers as a hardworking and honest person; and by my friends as someone they can count on and trust.

I will help others as best I can and I will thank those who help me along the way.

I will behave in a manner so as to become a light, not a roadblock, for others who chose to follow or lead me.

I will show love rather than expect love.

I will continue to grow personally and professionally by stimulating my mind with new learning.

I will strive to be happy.

I received a comment on one of my posts from a cousin who lives in The Netherlands. In the commet she shared with me some words that were on a card that my grandmother sent to her grandmother. I wanted to make sure that everyone gets to read this so I figured that I would post it here. So here it is;

The Bright Side

Look at life with eyes that see the good and not the bad.

Cherish in your memory the glad times, not the sad.

Walk in the direction of the blue sky, not the grey.

Choose the bright side of the road where sunshine lights the way.

It is nice to see that alot of people are going to my blog through The Casket website. Blogspot tracks how people are getting to my blog so I can see if people are typing in the web address, clicking on the link which is on The Casket website, or going through facebook.

The numbers are going like this:
The Casket - 242
www.lettinggo1974.blogspot.com - 240
Facebook - 7

In my last two posts I told you that you can find my old and new favorite songs on YouTube. If you click on the post title (in blue) it will take you to YouTube and to the song that I am talking about in the post.

Flashdance...What a Feeling

In my last post I told you about my OLD favorite song. Now I am going to tell you about my NEW favorite song. It is What a Feeling from the movie Flashdance.

I will tell you why I like it after I type the words to the song. You can find the song on YouTube if you would like to listen to it. When I am at the gym I listen to the remixed version which is really high energy and it really gets me moving and inspired me to work harder.

What A Feeling

First when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream

That you fear seems to hide deep inside your mind

All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride

In a world made of steel, made of stone

Well I hear the music, close my eyes, feel the rhythm

Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

What a feeling, bein's believin'

I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life

Take your passion, and make it happen

Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

Now I hear the music, close my eyes, I am rhythm

In a flash it takes hold of my heart

What a feeling, bein's believin'

I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life

Take your passion, and make it happen

Pictures come alive, now I'm dancing through my life

What feeling

What a feeling (I am music now), bein's believin' (I am rhythm now)

Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

What a feeling (I can really have it all)

What a feeling (Pictures come alive when I call)

Ica have it all (I can really have it all)

Have it all (Pictures come alive when I call)

(call, call, call, call, what a feeling) I can have it all

(Bein's believin') bein's believin'

(Take your passion, make it happen) make it happen

(What a feeling) what a feeling...

I don't know if I will do a good job of describing why I like this song so much, but I will give it my best shot.

We all have dreams that we really want to see come true but most of us are too scared to even try to reach for our dreams for fear of failure so we keep our dreams just as that, a dream...at least that is what I did. Also, I felt that I was not worthy of seeing my dreams come true. I felt I couldn't have all that I wanted because I wasn't good enough. If you have been reading all along, you will know that I had a desire to help people and wanted to become and LPN for many, many years. It was a dream of mine that I talked about but didn't think it would ever come true for many different reasons.

But, in my search for happiness, I decided to take what I was really passionate about and make it happen...which is when I went to LPN school.

I really enjoy listening to music and love to dance (I suck at it but that is not the point). They both make me happy. People that dance always look so happy while they are dancing and they are having fun. I really feel that I am dancing through my life now instead of just letting the days pass by.

I feel that in the song, music represents all that is good in life. Now I do hear the music (all the good, positive things in life). Before, I always focused on the negative things in life and all the bad things that could happen to me and my family. I really feel that a positive attitude has made all the difference in my world. Now I concentrate on the positive things in life and deal with the negative things that happen with a positive attitude. I really feel that all my dreams can come true and I can have it all and I am not afraid to go for it anymore.

The song really goes deeper than that for me...but I just can't put it into words. Hopefully, you get the idea of why I like this song so much and why I consider it my new "theme" song.

I've Never Been To Me

The title of this post is the name of a song that used to be one of my favorites. The song is I've Never Been To Me by Charlene. You can hear it on YouTube by searching for the song or clicking on the link at the top of the page (if it works the way it is supposed to).

I still really like the song but it reminds me of my past so I think of it as one of my OLD favorites. I will tell you about my new favorite song later or maybe tomorrow.

Here are the lyrics to the song and after you read the lyrics, I will tell you why it was one of my favorites.

I've Never Been To Me by Charlene

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But, I wish someone had talked to me

Like I wanna talk to you...

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run

I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away

'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me still living in your eyes

Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies...

Oh, I've been to Neice and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht

I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got

I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Hey, you know what paradise is?

It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be

But you know what truth is?

It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning

The same one you're going to make love with tonight

That's truth, that's love...

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete

But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs to much to be free

Hey lady...

I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)

But I've never been to me

There is a lot of the song that does not apply to my life but the biggest part that I feel applied to my life is what the title says...I've never been to me.

I have done alot of things in my life with playing sports. I have travelled to almost every province in Canada. I have been to The Netherlands and France on vacation. I have had supportive parents and friends and really can't complain about the many opportunities that I have had in my past. But the one thing that I really did not do in my past was figure out who I was. I never really got to know myself (so of course, how could anyone else really get to know me). I don't even really know how to say what I am trying to say here. I knew while I was listening to the song that I really did not know myself and I though of the song as, well, kind of my theme song (if a person can have a theme song). I tried to reflect on the song and thought that maybe I would find the answer to who I was in my reflection, but that really did not work for me.

I really did not figure out who I was until I finished my nursing course, started working and started letting go of many things that have been holding me back all these years. I don't know that I am really finished figuring out who I am...but I do know that I am not going to stop trying to know myself until I have peeled back each and every one of my layers and exposed myself to not only me but everyone else too! I hope you enjoy getting to know me.

I was thinking, if I was asked to describe myself, what words would I use. Here are some that I have come up with...

Honest

Loving

Strong

Hardworking

Loyal

Happy

If I was asked the same question a year ago, I would have used these words...

Sad

Worthless

Dull

Bitter

It is really difficult to type these words and I really don't want to be that person again so I am going to stop thinking of the words and only think about the positive.

In the song the singer, Charlene, talks about paradise. Think about what paradise is to you? Too many people think paradise is having a new beautiful home, a new car, going on vacation to exotic places, having all the brand name clothes and a lot of other STUFF.

To me, paradise is a place where I am happy. All I need to be happy is to love myself and be surrounded by family and friends that love me and accept me for who I am. You know what the best thing is...I am living in my paradise! I hope you are too.

So for those of you who don't know, today (well yesterday because it is after midnight, Dec 13) is my birthday. I have to say that the last birthday that I have looked forward to was my 19th birthday, until this one. I was excited to turn 19 because I could get into the liquor store and I felt that it meant that I was an adult. Since my 19th birthday I have not looked forward to having a birthday.

When I turned 30, I told my mother and my husband that I did not want a suprise birthday party like my mother had for my sister. I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that I was getting older and turning 30. Thirty seemed so old for someone that really did not know who she was. Who wants to turn another year older when they are not happy with where they are in their life and feeling that they have not grown as a person since the last birthday they had?

This year is different because I feel that I am in a good place with my life. I am taking charge of my life instead of just watching the days go by. I am finally living my life. I feel that I am finally a good person because I am helping people and I am happy. It dosen't matter how old I am as long as I am happy.

The past year of my life has left me with many changes and I feel that they are all for the better. I can't wait to see what the next year of my life brings me.

In other news, I finally have a New Year's dress! YIPPEE!! I picked up the dress that I ordered from Sears and I LOVE IT! It is a pinkish-purple color and is made of satin. It is a one-shoulder dress that falls just above the knees. Now I need to find some jewellery and get my hair cut. This dress calls for either an up-do or a shorter hairstyle. Since I am not very good with hairstyles, I may just get my hair cut shorter. I really have to watch what I eat over Christmas because there is not extra room in my dress. I would actually like to get at least 5 lbs off before then so I really have to watch myself until then.

Oh, I am looking for a polar bear dip to do on New Year's Day. Let me know if you hear of one anywhere in Antigonish County.


done anything with their life.When my 20th birthday came around, I was not really excited because I just felt that I was getting older.

Yesterday in my personal training session I had my cardio retested. on the bike. The scores so something like this: very low, low, below average, average and so on. When I first started at the gym I scored very low on my cardio. A few months ago, I was tested again and I was still very low but my score was alittle higher. Yesterday, I scored AVERAGE! YIPPEE!! I was so happy to be average that I almost did a dance in the middle of the gym but I decided to save my dancing for New Year's Eve.

Last night I had a Jockey Clothing Party at my mother's house. It was so awesome and fun! Only a few people showed up but that left us lots of time to try on ALL of the clothing and really play around with it. I really love all of their clothing. It is so comfortable and versatile. I really wanted to buy it all. I got some awesome deals for hosting the party. I tried on one of the pairs of pants and I fit into a small. I haven't worn anythig that was a small in a long time and some of the other items I wore a medium. I will be having another one in the spring and I can't wait to see the spring catalogue. You really should come to the party in the spring I bet you will love the clothing too.

New Years Eve Dress Shopping

If you read my post earlier today, you will know that I was in Halifax taking part in the Santa Shuffle Run. I also went to Halifax so that I could go dress shopping. Now, I am not the "dress wearing kind of gal", or at least I never used to be. Since I have let go of 115 lbs, I can't wait to get dressed up and go dancing and what better time to do that than New Years Eve.

I was actually excited to go shopping for a "fancy" dress. I have been shopping in plus size stores for so long now that I am nervous to go shopping anywhere other than Addition-Elle or Penningtons because I don't know how the sizes run or where to shop. I asked around for some places to go dress shopping and I was told of a few places in Dartmouth Crossing and Mic Mac Mall. I was quite excited at the idea of going into a store that was not a plus size store and being able to try stuff on. Most things that I have been wearing lately are xl or large so I thought that I would have no problems finding something.

I started off my search in Dartmouth Crossing on Friday night. I went to a store called Laura. I was told that they have lots of nice dresses in petite, tall, regular and even plus sizes. I thought for sure I would find the perfect dress there. I walked around and almost immediately found the dress that I had been looking for. I was looking for a dress that was colorful, had some sparkles, and was knee length. The dress that I found was a pretty purple and had a band of gems just below the bust line. I looked at the sizes and there was nothing that would fit me. I was a little disappointed but it would have been too easy to find the perfect dress right away. I walked around the store and saw some cute dresses but nothing that would fit me. I was getting a little disappointed but was not ready to give up yet.

I decided to turn to the plus size section and saw a beautiful dress. It was black and floor length but it was absolutely beautiful. The price was expensive so I decided not to try it on but Joey told me to try it on anyway. I tried it on and loved it! It was a little too big (size 16) but not so big that I could not wear it. It was so comfortable and actually looked good on me. I reluctantly took it off because it was too expensive to even consider buying to wear it only one time. Also it was black, floor length and really elegant and I was looking for something more fun. Joey brought me some more dresses that were shorter. Some were black, navy, purple and other colors. One of the dresses fit really well and looked good on me but it was not what I was looking for. It was black and did not have the sparkle that I was looking for. It was too "Plain Jane" and looked like something an old lady would wear. Another dress was really nice and fit well, but it had this queer thing on the front it was kind of straps that looked more like a neclace and attached to the dress at the bust. I thought about cutting the straps off and resewing them to make them actual straps. But I figure that the perfect dress has got to be out there, somewhere. The stores in Dartmouth crossing were closing at this time, it was 9:00pm so I had to abandon the dress shopping for the night and start again after the run in the morning.

The next day morning I did the run and then resumed the dress shopping with Joey, Brian and Alix. We went to Mic Mac Mall to check The Bay and there was nothing there. Well, there was one dress that was there, but it was a size 4. Yeah, not going to happen! We checked out some other stores and did not find anything. Then we went to Addition-Elle. I figured I can still fit into their clothes so I might as well look. They did not have very much for selection. There were some old lady dresses so I didn't even try anything on there. We walked around the mall some more and came to Le Chateau (I think that is what it is called). I found LOTS of dresses that I liked. They were the right length, nice colors, and had the look that I was looking for. I took one to try it on for size and I was disappointed. The largest size they have is XL. I tried it on and could not get it zipped up all the way. With Joey's help I could have zipped it up but I would have been too uncomfortable in it because it really was too small...but only by a little bit.

We went back to Dartmouth Crossing to go to the larger Addition-Elle to see what they have. I tried on one dress but it was not a New Years Eve dress. It was a nice dress to wear to a wedding or something like that, but not to wear on New Years Eve. We decided to go back to Laura to see if we could find the purple dress with the queer neck thing. Unfortunately, we could not find it , but the nice elegant black one was still there. It still fit really well and it was still way to expensive even with the No Tax sale that was going on. If I am in Halifax before New Years I may check to see if it is on sale. I would buy it if it was 50% off so I am hoping that it will go on sale and no one will buy it.

Buy this time I was getting frustrated. I was tired and my feet were sore and it was too late in the day to go to the gym. Now if I had found a dress it would have been worth missing the gym, but I didn't find a dress AND I didn't get to the gym. I was really disappointed. I thought that shopping for a dress was going to be fun, but it made me realize that I am not as small as I think I am. I am still a plus size girl and I still have a way to go when it comes to being able to walk into a store and find something I like that fits me. I know that I have come along way in a short amount of time but I so badly want to be at my goal and it can't come soon enough. I was alittle down over the dress shopping thing for the rest of the weekend. I was not able to get to the gym today either so I am disappointed over that too.

I started looking online at some dresses and I found 2 at sears that I like. I ordered both in two different sizes. Of the dresses that I tried on in Halifax, the ones that were size 14 fit me best. The dresses that I ordered at sears said that they were a "snug" fit so I thought that I should order them at least 1 size larger than I needed. So I orderd a pink one in size 16 and a blue one in size 18. I am planning to return one of them. I really hope the pink one fits well because I like it the best. I can always order it in a larger or smaller size if I need to. It will be in on Wednesday and I will be able to pick it up on Friday so stay tuned to see if it fits. Cross your fingers and toes for me, please!

5 km Santa Shuffle

I am back home from my trip to Halifax. Joey and I went up on Friday evening as we were doing the Santa Shuffle 5 km run on Saturday morning.

My goal for the run was to run it in under 36 minutes. If you remember, the last run I did was on Thanksgiving weekend and I ran the 5 k in 38:51. I wasn't sure how I was going to do since I had only run once since the last run and my knees have been bothering me too. I like having goals that make me push myself and I was really hoping that 36 minutes was going to be doable.
When I run, I stomp so I had been working on walking heel to toe on the treadmill and I also take short steps so I was also working on lengthing my stride on one of the eliptical machines at the gym.

It was a cold drizzly morning and it was hard to get warmed-up, but I did the best I could. The run began at 10am. It was a gun start with no chip timing so you had to watch for your time when you crossed the finish line. The run was in Shearwater and started in the parking lot and then went down some residential streets. I made it through the parking lot at a really good pace and then hit the residential streets and looked up to see a long hill. I thought that this must be the only one so it is good to get it over with...but I was wrong! I made it to the top of the hill (it kicked my ass, by the way) and then enjoyed the nice down hill section and finished the first km in about 7 mins and 30 secs. I was kind of disappointed with that but I kept going and I knew that I was going to have to work hard to make up some time. We turned up and down some streets and then came around a corner to a REALLY STEEP HILL! I thought, "what are they trying to do to me?" I made it about half-way up the hill and I had to walk. I really didn't want to walk, but at this point I was just thinking "Make it to the top of the hill anyway you can". At the top of the hill I realized that I had not been controlling my breathing and I think that is why I had such difficulties. So from then on I thought "Control your breathing, don't let it control you" and I kept repeating that to myself.

We made it to the halfway mark and realized that we had to so the exact same course over which meant I had to tackle the same two hills AGAIN! I thought, for just one split second, about giving up. But I knew I would be really disappointed in myself if I gave up, so I kept going. I knew that I had to dig deep and really focus on my breathing, my strides, and running heel to toe. I kept telling myself "Control your breathing, don't let it control you. I am strong, I can do this." I did walk the hills and was overjoyed when we made it back to the parking lot and could see the finish line. I crossed the finish line. My time was 34:45.

Over all, I was really happy with my time. It would have been nice to run the whole course, but I am still happy with how I did. When I got back to the truck I was talking to Joey and he said that I should do a 10k next. I said no because my ultimate goal for 5k is to run it in under 30 minutes. So I will do the next one in under 32 minutes and from there I will work on doing it in under 30 minutes then maybe I will consider a 10k.

Today's Weight

So I finally broke the "20 to go" mark! My weight today is 218.8 lbs!

Vitamins

One of the ladies I work with was asking me if I take any vitamins and also asked what I used for my protein. So I thought I would share it with all of you.

I take 1000mg of Vitamin B12 as prescribed by my doctor as my B12 is low. My B12 has been normal since I started taking it.

Every morning I also take a mulit-vitamin that I get from GNC. It is called Women's Ultra Mega Active. I take one in the morning and one at lunch time. It has a lot of wonderful things in it.
It has Medicinal Ingredients like: Beta-Carotene, Vitamins A, D, E, K1 C, B1, B2, B6, B12, Niacinamide, Niacin, Folic Acid, Biotin, and Pantothenic Acid.
Minerals like: Calcium, Magnesium, Zinc, Iron, Iodine, Maganese, Copper, Potassium, Chromium, Selenium, Boron, Silica, Molybdenum, Vandium, Inositol, Choline, and Phosphorus.
Digestive Aids like: Betaine Hydrochloride, Bromelain, Papain, Capsicum
Green Foods like: Green Tea Extract, Ribose, L-Theanine, Rhodiola rosea, Passionflower Extract, Barley Grass, Nori Seaweed, Chamomille Leaft Extract, Pine Bark Extract, Vinpocetine, Resveratrol, and Acerola Cherry.

I find that I have lots of energy through out the day. The other thing that I find is that it makes your urine a really bright yellow. It kind of freaked me out the first time that I noticed it but then I saw Dr Oz one day and he said that the bright yellow urine is from excess B vitamins that your body is getting rid of and that made sense to me so I worried no more.

I also use another product that I get at Sunflower Natural Foods or GNC. It is called PhytoBerry The Whole Body Antioxidant. It is really tasty and has lots of good stuff in it.
Fruit Concentrates: Goji berry, organic acai berry, pomegranate, indian goose berry, mangosteen, prine, blueberry, raisin, vranverry, strawverry, acerola berry, apricot, raspberry, cupuacu, blackberry, sea berry, and elderberry.
Phytonutrients: rosehip extract, green tea extract, apple extract, white tea extract rosemary extract, grape skin extract, olive leaf extract, biliberry extract, grape seed extract, pine bark extract, corn silk, quercetin, lycopene, and resveratrol.
Essential Fatty Acids & Oils: organic non-GMO lecithin, organic flax seed oil, organic cocomut oil, plantain oil, extra cergin olice oil, avocado oil, essential orange oil, essential rosemary oil, essential clove oil, essential thyme oil, essential oregano oil, essential cinnamon bark oil, and black pepper extract.

I also use a protein powder called Lean Whey (from Sunflower Natural Foods). I like the French Vanilla Cream flavor. It has 25 g of protein in 2 scoops and I mix it with 1 cup of milk. I use the Lean Whey brand because it is sweetened with Stevia. A lot of the protein powders are sweetened with Sucralose and I get headaches from Sucralose and I really don't like the taste of it. I usually have my protein shake within 30 minutes of working out.

So that is what I take every day. They are not for everyone so check with your doctor before you take any type of vitamin.

Happy Tuesday! Nov 30, 2010

I have been struggling with my energy level and eating right this past weekend. I think that a lot of it comes from being constantly on the go. I didn't have my healthy food prepared ahead of time, due to having no time. When I don't have my food prepared ahead of time I tend to want to eat the first thing that I see that is quick to make which usually means high calories and fat and not very nutritious. With being constantly on the go and working out really hard this weekend, my body really needs as much nutritious food to keep with with my pace.

I also started my days off with no sleep. I worked a night shift and went home and laid down for 40 mins then I needed to get up, shower and be in town for 10:30am. Then I went to the gym for a LONG time. So it has taken me all weekend to catch up on my sleep. My body was not happy with me and I ended up sleeping almost all of Sunday...and that is not an exageration! I got up ate breakfast and was back in bed by 10:30. I tried to watch a movie in the afternoon and saw about 15 minutes of it before I fell asleep again. I woke up for supper and went to bed shortly after and slept all night.

I got a call this morning from work offering for me to stay home and I gladly accepted the offer. I am going to use this day to recharge my batteries, go to the gym and get some things done that I have been putting off for a while.

Due to the fact that I have not been eating well this past weekend, I feel like I am retaining LOTS of fluid. I am quite nervous to get on the scale. I know that it is just fluid and not fat that I have put on so I am probably better off not getting on the scale. I really don't want to be disappointed by seeing my weight higher than it was.

I am going to Halifax on Saturday to run in the 5 km Santa run. I am kind of nervous about running in it because my knees are quite sore. I have been doing a some drills with a little bit of impact and my knees are feeling it. I tend to get down on myself when my knees are sore, but I am not going to let that happen this time. I think I will actually call my physiotherapist to see if he can fit me in today or tomorrow.

Nov 25, 2010

So it has been a little while since I have posted. I came off of night shift on Wednesday morning and have been going non-stop since which has left me really tired. On Monday, I had a personal training session where we changed my weights up. We split my weights up to 2 days instead of 3 days. On day one I will be doing my chest, biceps and legs with something cardio based(modified burpees, quick feet, or stairs) in between reps. On day two I will be doing my triceps, back, and shoulders with something cardio based in between reps. I think it will take 1 to 1 1/2 hours to complete my weights on weight day, which means I will be at the gym much longer than I am used to. I will still have to do my cardio after I finish my weights. So tomorrow, I will be doing my chest, biceps, and legs.

Yesterday, I did my back and I love how it feels after I do my back. Usually I don't really feel the muscles in my back but I definately feel my muscles in my back after I train it. It is nice to know that they are there.

Today, I had a training session and had my A$$ kicked. I think it was the hardest one yet...and I loved every minute of it! I did spidermans, quick feet, some squats, biceps, mini jacks, high knees, some abs, and much much more. I am definately heading to bed nice and early tonight. Is 8pm too early to go to bed??

I worked day shift yesterday and today. Goodlife is open from 8 am to 8 pm on Saturday and Sunday and I worked from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm so I was not able to go to the gym for the last 2 days! I am feeling very BLAH because of it. I can't wait until I tomorrow when I can go to the gym. I will have to work extra hard to make up for missing the gym for two whole days.

Quote - Nov 19, 2010

I came accross this quote in one of the women's fitness magazines that I have been reading and I want to share it with all of you. So here it is...

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

At The Gym - Nov 19, 2010

I thought I would give you an update of what I have been doing at the gym all week.

Monday
I just did cardio. I had worked the night before and did not feel like my body could handle weight training...no need to get hurt!

Tuesday
I had a personal training session with Todd. I did my chest and back and then I did my usual 45 mins of cardio.

Wednesday
I did my legs...worked them really hard and then did 50 mins of cardio. The cardio was tough after doing legs but I made it through.

Thursday
I went to the gym earlier in the day then normal. Brandon missed the school bus so I had to drive him in to town...great excuse for getting to the gym early. I decided last minute to do the the 45 min spin class. I learned that I should not be making last minute decisions at the gym! Five minutes into the spin class, my legs were tired and I couldn't figure out why. They are usually not that tired 5 mins into the class. Then I remembered that I did my legs the day before! I struggled through the rest of the class and then did 15 mins on the Precor EFX machine.

Friday
I had a personal training session with Todd. We worked my back, triceps and biceps. I asked Todd if I could carry 110 lbs up the stairs because I had carried 100 lbs up the stairs when I reached 100 lbs off. It seemed only fitting that I should do the same for 110 lbs off. So he asked me how many times I thought I could do the stairs carrying 110 lbs. I figured I could do it 5 times...so we started. Before I knew it I had done it 10 times!! Whoop, Whoop!! Then I did some abs and 45 mins of cardio.

So that was my week at the gym. I am working Saturday and Sunday, day shift. So that means that I won't be able to go to the gym. They are only open from 8 am to 8 pm and I work from 7:15 am to 7:30 pm. I still don't know what I am going to do for my workout. I usually go to the gym after my second day shift. I could probably go for a walk in town after my shift but it will not be as good of a cardio workout as I am used to...unless I find a big hill and go up and down it a bunch of times. Anyone have any ideas of what I can do?

Pictures - Nov 18, 2010

Ok, I am going to try to post some pictures which will show you the physical changes that I have gone through. The photos that I am wearing the blue tshirt were taken on May 13, 2010 and the photos of me in a tank top were taken today. Today, I am 223 lbs and I am guesstimating (spelling ??) my weight on May 13th to be around 285. Now remember, I started at 333.4. I really wish I had taken photos at the beginning.

I really don't want to show these photos of myself to anyone, if you have been reading you know that I don't like to have photos taken of me. But, I will show them because I am hoping that it will show you that if you work hard, your dreams can come true.

Now I know that I have a way to go to hit my goal, I am not there yet. But I will keep working and when I hit my goal I will have more photos taken.

I really did not see the progress that I have made until I looked at my old photos next to my new ones. Let's see what you think...

I wanted to say congratulations to the ladies of Antigonish TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly). Cheryl was nice enough to inform me that there were some big numbers at the meeting on Wednesday. Every pound you get off is one pound closer to your personal goal. I know how hard it is to let go of 1 pound so I want to say that I am proud of each and every one of you for working hard this week. KEEP IT UP GIRLS!

I hope I can come back soon to see all of you!

I wanted to say congratulations to the ladies of Antigonish TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly). Cheryl was nice enough to inform me that there were some big numbers at the meeting on Wednesday. Every pound you get off is one pound closer to your personal goal. I know how hard it is to let go of 1 pound so I want to say that I am proud of each and every one of you for working hard this week. KEEP IT UP GIRLS!

I hope I can come back soon to see all of you!

Finding The Time - Nov 18, 2010

For those of you who are struggling to find the time in the day for yourself and for your health, here is a quote for you:

"Don't say you don't have enough time.You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelanglo, Mother Theresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."

-H. Jackson Brown

Use your time like it is precious. Enjoy every second and minute of the day. Everyone is busy and has many things that have to get done. I am here to tell you that you need to make yourself a priority. Your health and happiness is more important than getting the floor swept, the dishes done, the lawn mowed, the bills paid and the laundry done. All that stuff will be there waiting for you and you will eventually get it done. I have been putting my health and happiness ahead of the housework, paying the bills and running errands. I get the housework done and the bills paid on time, but if I did the housework and all the other stuff before I went to the gym, I would not have as much energy for the gym and I may not feel like going to the gym at all. If you don't get your floor swept, so what! It will get done eventually. You have to decide that you are more important that all the other stuff. No one will put you first so you have to do put yourself first. And believe me, no one is going to tell you to go to the gym and offer to do your housework for you!

Each and every person on this earth deserves to be healthy and happy. You are worthy so treat yourself that way. Love yourself. You can't be truly happy unless you love yourself.

I wish everyone a long and healthy life filled with happiness!

Jockey Clothing Line - Nov 17, 2010

I went a Jockey Clothing party last night at a friend's house. I can't say enough about the clothes. The quality of the clothing was outstanding. Since I started letting go of my weight, one of the things that I have wanted to buy was something that was Lulu Lemon. Now, I hear that Lulu Lemon pants pill after a few washes but people still pay money for them because they are comfortable. Well, I have to tell you about Jockey because they are sooo comfortable and they don't pill. I tried almost everything on last night and I wanted to take it all home to sleep in, it was so comfortable. I was told that is washes really well and does not lose it shape.

The clothing is so versatile. The pants are comfortable and you can dress them up to wear to work or you can throw on a tank top and wear them to the gym. There is one cardigan that you can wear about 25 different ways and a little black dress that you can wear about 10 different ways.

I am going to host one of these parties and I hope all of you can come. I know you will love it just as much as I do.

Dawn

So, I know who some of you are that are reading my blog because you have commented or told me in person. But I know that there are many people that are reading my blog that I don't know. I would love to get to know you and hear how you heard about my blog.

There are people from the US, UK, Singapore, Brazil, Canada and the Netherlands who are reading and I would love to know how you heard about it.

I welcome any comments.

Nov 16, 2010

My weight today is 223.0 lbs. Only 23 lbs to my goal!

Yesterday I went to Walmart to buy some new scrub pants. You will never guess what size I was able to buy! Come on guess, I really want you to guess...

I didn't buy 3XL, I didn't buy 2XL, I didn't buy 1XL and I didn't buy XL.
If you guessed Lg, then you you guessed right! I am so excited to be wearing something that is just large not extra large! You don't know how happy I was when I found and tried on a pair of Xl pants and they were way too big. I almost bought them anyway (I was thinking that I would take them in a little) because I didn't think that I should even try fitting into something that was large. Then I thought, "what the heck, I will try the large just to see". AND THEY FIT!

I thought that when I am at my goal, I would be wearing large...now I am thinking that I may someday fit into medium...maybe??? I guess I will see when I reach my goal.

Stepping it Up! Nov 15, 2010

One of the things that I spoke to the TOPS group about was Stepping It Up. I feel that this is one of the things that I have been doing that has lead me to where I am today. I am quite a competitive person and I love to challenge myself. In order to keep making progress, I need to challenge myself and I do this by Stepping it Up.

When it comes to exercising, I try to do better everytime I am at the gym. If I am on the elipitical, I will warm-up, and go at a pace where it is comfortable for me. Then I step it up for one minute to the point that I am out of my comfort zone, but I am still being safe. You don't want to push yourself so hard that you are not safe. So I take myself out of my comfort zone a few times within the 20 minutes. Eventually, the "out of comfort zone" level will become comfortable and your normal. Then you can work on stepping it up some more. As you become more fit you need to step it up some more so you keep making progress.

I do the same when it comes to my nutrition. I find it is easier when I make small changes. For me, if I was to totally cut a food from my diet, I feel deprived. When there is something that I am eating that I probably shouldn't be eating, I cut it out slowly. Before I started taking charge of my nutrition, I was eating chips and pop almost every night. So first, I cut it back to a few times a week. Then, I had them only on weekends. Then I went to only once a week. Then about once a month. Now I hardly have chips and I don't enjoy them as much as I used to. I find them really really salty. I am constantly trying to make small changes to improve my diet. I still treat myself, occasionally. Now, I find that when I do treat myself, like last Saturday night, I don't enjoy the food as much as I used to and my body feels horrible afterwards. Probably because it is not getting the nutritious food that it is used to getting.

So, I would like to put out a challenge to all of you that read my blog...and I know that you ARE reading. In fact there were 68 people on my blog at the same time the other day. I can see how many people are reading it at any given time, but I have no idea who you are...uness you comment.

My challenge to you is to take your exercise or your nutrition and Step It Up for one week. All I ask is that you do it for one week only. And then see how you feel at the end of the week. I bet you will feel so good and you will see the results that you will want to continue doing it.

For those of you who really like to challenge yourselves...Step Up your exercise and your nutrition for one week!

If you would be so kind to let me know how you did, I would really appreciate it!

Have fun Stepping It Up!

Nov 13, 2010

My weight this morning is 223.6 lbs which means I am only 23.6 lbs away from my goal!
200 lbs...here I come!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Photo by Tim Bellemore

I wanted to post this photo of me that was taken about a year ago at the football field. I always shy away from photos and Tim was determined to get one of me that day. At the time, I was not happy (even though I am smiling) and I was cursing Tim under my breath. But I want Tim to know that now I thank him for taking this photo and emailing it to my mother. When I look at this photo, I see how far I have come. I will cherish this photo forever.

For those of you who haven't seen me since high school, you probably don't recognize the girl in this photo. For those of you who haven't seen me since last year, you probably won't recognize me now. I have gone through alot of physical and emotional changes in the last few months and they are all for the better.

I will always keep this photo to remind me to keep my body, mind and spirit healthy. It is sad how I let myself be unhealthy for so long, but I am finally letting all of that go. I am in charge now and I will never be like the girl in the photo again!

My wish for everyone is health and happiness. I have taken charge of my health and my happiness. Please take charge of yours because no one can do it for you.

Sorry

My blog was meant to be a good thing. To express myself and open myself up because I have keep a lot of feelings inside for all of my life. It was also meant to inspire people like me to make changes in their life to be a better and healthier person. My intentions are not to upset anyone and I have done that. I have upset 6 people who will always have a special place in my heart. I want to send a huge appology to them. I am so sorry girls...

I want to say "Hello" to the members of TOPS NS2948. It was great seeing you all tonight and thank you for the beautiful bath set. I can't wait to use it!

Remember to Step it Up this week and see what happens!

Shout Out!

I'd like to send a shout out to a friend from the gym, her name is Tracey. She has let go of 15 lbs in the past two weeks!

WAY TO GO GIRL! I'm proud of you! Keep up the hard work!

I would also like to say "HELLO" to Katy...I'm waiting for your comments!
**taping fingers on the laptop, impatiently**

Wednesday, Nov 10th, 2010

My weight to day is 226.8 lbs so that means that I have 26.8 lbs between me and my goal. So that means that I have let go of a total of 106.2 lbs so far!

Questions & Comments

I am wondering if anyone has any questions or topics that you would like me to write about. If you have a burning question that I have not answered in my blog, please feel free to ask. You can ask the question as an anonymous guest if you wish to. All you have to do is comment on this post with your question and select anonymous guest.

I hope to hear from you.

BodyFlow

I went to BodyFlow at Goodlife Fitness tonight. I was not sure if it would be something that I would like because I have never done yoga, pilates, or tai chi before. Everyone that I know that attended a BodyFlow class said it was awesome and that I should give it a try. I am glad that I did give it a try. I loved it! Going into it, I was not sure that I would be able to keep up with the movements as I had never done any of them before and I was not sure how I would do. I think I did okay for my first try. I definately will be going again.

I hope that my achievements in life shall be these-

That I will have fought for what is right & fair,

That I will have risked for that which mattered,

That I will have given help to those who were in need,

And that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been.

-C. Hoppe

I have been working really hard at the gym lately and I think it is paying off. I can't wait to weigh myself in the morning.

Today I did my back and triceps and then I went to a 60 min spin class. It was the hottest and hardest spin class that I have been to yet! During the second last song, I was not sure that I was going to make it through to the end but I pushed through and finished the class. The last song was Sandstorm and anyone that has been to Suzanne's spin class where she played Sandstorm will understand when I say it is hard and tiring! When spin class was over, I was not sure that I would be able to get off the bike. I moved slowly and made it off the bike without falling to the floor...which was a good thing. My legs felt like jelly afterwards.

I have noticed that my flexibility has been increasing lately. I have been making sure that I stretch really well after my workouts and it is paying off. I would love to be able to do the splits. I may start working on that.

So I was awake at 4 am...what's up with that?

Well, I guess I do know why I was awake so early. Yesterday I got off night shift and was home by about 8 am. I was really tired so I went to sleep for a few hours like I normally do. I got up at noon had a bite to eat and went to the gym where I worked my chest and triceps. Then I did 45 mins of cardio. I had my protein drink and an apple and headed for home...after a trip to Walmart. I got home and had some supper. I had chicken, spinach salad and brown rice. It was delicious and I was really hungry. I sat on the couch to relax for a while and I ended up falling asleep at 6:30. At about 8:00, I decided I might as well go to bed...so I did just that. I went to bed at 8:00 pm. I must have been really tired to go to bed so early. Going to bed early means waking up early. So that is why I was awake so early.

So what do I do at 4 am in the morning when you can't sleep? I did a lot of things. I made a list of things that I need to accomplish today. On my list are the following: print off a photo, sewing, print off and fill out my Mantracker application, get everything ready to speak to the TOPS group, go to the gym, and Brandon's football game. So I accomplished some of the things on my list and then I did some reading.

Yesterday was the first of my 5 days off this week. I have a jammed packed 5 days off. Today is going to be quite busy, as you can see from the list that I made, and tomorrow and Tuesday I am doing some training for work. I am taking the CPI course. Hopefully it will be really interesting. I also have to fit the gym in on both days. Wednesday, I have a personal training session and I am speaking to the TOPS group. I can't wait for that. I am excited and alittle nervous also. Hopefully what I have to say to them will be beneficial to them.

I guess I better get some more things checked off of my list.

Have a great day, eat well and get outside for some exercise!

I was weighed and measured at Goodlife Fitness today. The scale showed me 2 lbs heavier than my scale at home. At home I weigh 229 and the scale at Goodlife showed me at 231. Since the last time I was weighed, which was 6 weeks ago, I let go of 8 lbs so I averaged 1.33 lbs per week which is good by normal standards. I am used to averaging 3.5 lbs per week so I was a little disappointed but live goes on. I just have to dig deeper and work alittle harder.

I let go of 7 more inches. 2.5 of them were from my waist so that made me happy. We changed a few things about the weights so hopefully the weight will drop off a little more quickly.

I went down 1% body fat and my lean body mass stayed the same which means I did not lose any muscle and all the weight that I let go of was fat. I was also happy about that.

I was asked to track my food and hand it in, so I have to do it! I know that it is something that I must do, I just really don't like doing it. But we don't have to like everything we do. Right?

I am definately feeling sore from the gym yesterday...especially my glutes and hamstrings. It is a little difficult to sit and stand up. But it feels good to be sore because I know that I worked hard and hard work pays off.

Today is one of the days that I don't go to the gym. So it is a rest day for me. I worked my shift at the hospital and during my morning break I had an incident with the tea pot. The tea pot won and I burnt my hand so I came home from work early. It was different being home this afternoon because I had nothing to do...well, there is always lots of house work to do but I had to keep ice on my hand so it was not possible to do housework. I have been so busy lately with work, going to the gym, physio, education for work, Brandon's football, and having a social life that I don't spend much time at home with nothing to do. I have to admit that I had alittle nap and it was great.

At The Gym Today

I had a personal training session today with Todd. We worked my shoulders, glutes, quads, and some abs also. Then I did 30 mins of cardio. I went back to the gym this evening and did Body Pump. It is awesome, you should check it out!

Needless to say, my body is really tired. I think I will be heading to bed early tonight.

Readers

It is great to see that many people are reading my blog. There are people from 5 countries reading it. There are people from Canada (obviously), US, Netherlands, Singapore, and the UK.

I would love to get to know some of you who are reading from other countries. Drop me an email at rainy_day1974@hotmail.com and tell me your story.

I'd love to hear from you,

Dawn

Stars

Did I ever mention to you that I LOVE stars?

I have star earings, a pendant, my nose ring is a star (I was so happy when I found it). I have 2 star tattoos. One is behind my left ear and the other one is on my right leg.

At the Gym Today

I went to the gym this morning, while Joey was still in bed. I did my back and triceps today. I really tried to step up my workout today. I did not increase my weights but I did do a fourth set of each of the exercises I did.

I also did cardio. I did 30 mins of cardio at the gym. Then I came home and ran 4 km. I did the 4k in 28:33. I was quite pleased with my time, especially since there was a LARGE hill early in the run.

Did I mention that I did a spin class yesterday? I did the 60 min spin class and I think it was the hardest one that I have done yet...and I loved every minute of it!

At the Gym Today

I went to the gym today and had a personal training session. During the pt session I did my chest, biceps and shoulders. It was a lot of hard work and I really felt the burn today. I am thinking that I will be sore tomorrow. Short term pain for long term gain!

I also did 40 mins of cardio, but I am going to go back to the gym while Brandon is at Football practice because I am trying to "step-up" my cardio. Then I have to finish sewing my halloween costume. I can't wait to wear it!

Are you doing anything fun for Halloween?

Fifteen Things Everyone Should Do

Believe in yourself.

Be the miracle that you are.

Let all the wonders in.

Let all the worries out.

Follow your heart.

Trust your instincts.

Listed tot he song that sings in you.

Let your spirit dance to that tune.

Reach down deep and search within.

Discover how strong you can be.

Rise up as high as a wishing star.

Love the possibilities you see.

Remember: it is all about choices.

Realize: the decisions are p to you.

And don't forget: your're in the driver's seat,

and you can travel through life in any direction you choose.

-Douglas Pagels

Today's weight

I weighed myself this morning and I am now 228.8 lbs. I have less than 30 lbs to go! I seem to be letting go of my weight at a slower steadier rate, the last while, which is OK because at least my weight is going down.

I have been struggling with wanting some "junk" food lately. I want it all, pizza, chips, chocolate, pop. I am not going to give in, but is sure is difficult to stay on track. I keep telling myself "just make it to the weekend". I am going to allow myself one treat on the weekend...as long as I work hard at the gym.

I worked hard at the gym today. I had a personal training session where I worked my back, triceps, and abs. It was a good hard workout and I hope that I will be sore tomorrow. After my personal training session, I did 70 mins of cardio. I really want to try to do lots of hard cardio for the next while to burn lots of calories and melt some fat away.

It is time for me to try and get a little sleep because I work tonight.

Have a great evening,

Dawn

I worked a 12 hour shift today and then thought it would be a good idea to go to the gym on...an empty stomach. Let me tell you, it was not a great idea. As soon as I got to the gym, I could feel that my body was tired. I did my normal 10 min warm-up on the treadmill and realized that I was going to have a hard time doing weights plus an hour of cardio.

I settled for doing my weights (chest & biceps) and as much cardio as I could do. The weights seemed a bit harder than normal, then I ended up doing 40 mins of cardio. I worked hard and was extremely tired when I was finished.

All I could think of while working out was Wheel Pizza. I could almost taste the pizza in my mouth and I thought to myself "I could get 2 slices after my workout. One for me and one for Brandon." It is what I really wanted to do but I knew that it would be defeating my purpose for going to the gym in the first place. After talking to Todd, I decided to eat the apple that I had in my car instead. It was a hard decision to make, but at least I made the right one.

When I got home I had some salmon and I feel really good about the decidion that I made.

Spin Class

Last night I went back to the gym to do my cardio as I didn't have time for it after my training session. I did 45 mins of cardio broken down like this... 5 mins on the Eliptical, 20 mins on the Precor machine (don't know what else to call it), and 20 mins on the treadmill. After that I decided to walk to Brandon's football practice so I walked from the gym to the football practice field behind Columbus field (accross from Ron MacGillivray's). When I got to the field there was still 30 mins of practice left so I decided to walk some more. I walked to the Wheel and back to the field. I felt really good and had lots of energy but by the time I got home, I was spent.

I went to the gym this morning and did Suzanne's 60 min spin class. I worked hard and my body is definately feeling tired right now. I just had lunch and I think I will lay down for a bit. I am thinking of going for a run later today, but I will see how I feel after my nap.

The only other thing on my agenda for today is to make my Cabbage Soup and do some sewing because my work clothes are getting too big for me. I also have to do some work to my halloween costume. My halloween costume is awesome, by the way. I can't wait to go to Angie and Adam's halloween party. I am not going to tell you who I am dressing up as for halloween but I will tell you this..Joey and I are going as a couple that are on TV. We have wigs, handcuffs and are going to be in fake leather.

Today at the Gym

I had a training session at the gym this morning. What a workout it was! It was leg day so needless to say, my legs are going to be sore tomorrow.

Here is what I did:
-16 plie squats with 70 lbs of weight & 10 modified burpees x 3 sets
-10 dumbbell romanian deadlift with 3 pumps for each lift & stairs with 50 lbs of weight in each hand (yes that is a total of 100 lbs). I carried the weight up and Todd carried it down x 3 sets
-bulgarian split squats & calf raises x 3 sets.

After that I did 10 mins of cardio. I am going back to the gym tonight to do more cardio because 10 mins is just not enough.

Goal Setting

I think that setting realistic goals for yourself is extremely important. It has really helped me to get where I am today. I have a little bit of a competetive side, so when I set goals I look at it as a challenge to reach them.

It is really important to make sure the goals you set are realistic. At first, I thought it would take me 2 years to let go of all the weight that I wanted to let go of. I think that is pretty reasonable considering I had 133 lbs that I wanted to shed. That would mean letting go of 66.5 lbs in a year which is approximately 1.3 lbs a week which is reasonable and realistic.

With those goals being set, I knew that I was going to have to work really hard to reach them. But a few weeks into my training, I realized that I was letting go of my weight at an average of 3.5 lbs per week, which is more than I expected. At first I was not sure if I would be able to keep letting go of weight at that rate so I didn't want to change my goals just yet. After about 2 months I knew that I had to readjust my goals. So I had set a goal of having 100 lbs off by Sept 11 and to be at my goal weight by my 36th birthday on Dec 13th. I had also set some goals along the way because I needed to know if I was on track or if I needed to work harder in order to reach my goals.

Coming up to Sept 11th, it looked like I was not going to reach the 100 lb mark, and I didn't. It was the first goal that I had set that I didn't reach. I got a little down on myself which made that goal of 100 lbs harder to reach. I reached that goal on Friday, Oct 1st.

Lately, I have been struggling a little bit with the scale. I have been working hard but it is not showing in the scale, until the last few days. I think that I have been putting on muscle because my clothes are getting looser and I feel smaller but it is just not reflecting in the scale. I have decided that that is OK. I am reach my goal weight no matter what.

I think what I need to do is reset my goals. The last goals that I have set for myself has me at my goal weight by my birthday. I know now that that is not realistic. It is less than 2 months away and I have 30 lbs to go. Yeah, I weighed myself this morning and I am exactly 230.0 lbs! Whoop, Whoop! I have only 30 lbs to go so it is a great time to set some new goals.

I have 30 lbs to go and I feel that I can let go of about 2 lbs per week (I would be really happy with that). So that means that it will take 15 weeks for me to get to my goal weight. 15 weeks brings me to Feb 4th. So here are my long term goals and some short term goals:

I will be at my goal weight of 200 lbs on Feb 4th, 2011.
I will weigh 214 lbs by my birthday Dec 13th, 2010.
I will weigh 222 lbs by Nov 19th, 2010.

I feel it is important to also say that weight loss goals don't have to be a number on the scale. They can be body measurements. Sometimes we are getting smaller in the waistine but it is not shown on the scale. I will have to meet with Todd to set my measurement goals.

So those are letting go of weight goals. I think that it is important to also have fitness goals (at least it is important for me). One of my goals in letting go of weight is to be more fit. I love it that I am feeling stronger in mind and body and I want to keep this going well after the weight comes off.

Here are some of my fitness goals:
1) Run a 5 k in under 36 mins. There is a run in December where I am going to achieve this goal.
2) Compete in a sprint trithalon. In December I am going to start training to compete in a sprint trithalon this summer. I am waiting for the dates to be announced to pick which one I am going to do. I am hoping I will be off for the Port Hood trithalon.
3) Compete in a 10 k run next summer.

Here is one that I am not really sure of yet, I am still thinking about it. It is going to be a HUGE commitment of time and finances so I am not sure when I will do it or even if I will do it. I want to complete my other fitness goals before I decide for sure if I will do this one. It is to compete in a Fitness Competition. Joey's cousin Brian has mentioned it to me a few weeks ago and I just can't get it out of my mind. I have been looking at women in magazines who have competed in fitness competitions and I want to be as fit as they are. I admire them and the hard work and dedication that they have put into their bodies and I would love to have the experience of competing in one. So I am saying that in April 2012 I MAY compete in a fitness competition.

One thing that has helped me in achieving many goals that I have set for myself is that I envision myself achieving my goal and then I do what I need to do to make my vision reality.

What goals have you set for yourself?
Think about them, and write them down. They can be weight loss goals, fitness goals, financial goals, career goals or family oriented goals. The important thing is that you set goals for yourself so that you can grow into the person that you want to be. If you don't know where you are headed, how are you ever going to get there.

Listen to that voice inside you

that says you can accomplish anything.

Trust that feeling that tells you

you can acheive all that you hope for.

Believe that everything you want

is waiting for you.

Hold on to the knowledge that

nothing is impossible.

Remember that each person

who has ever achieved a goal

started out with only a dream.

-Jason Blume

Body Pump

I went to Body Pump tonight at Goodlife Fitness. It was the first class for the Antigonish club. For those of you who do not know what Body Pump is it is a weight-based group fitness class. It is 60 minutes long and contains eight seperate muscle-group specific songs as well as a warm-up and cooldown song. You choose the weight based on your ability and your goals. We did things such as squats, dead lifts, lunges, push-ups, bicep curls, sit-ups and much more.

It was definately challenging and worked all the major muscle groups. I think I went a little heavy on the weight for the biceps. They are very fatigued. I really enjoyed the class and I can't wait to do it again. There is another class on Monday, but I have to work so I will not be able to go.

So, I weighed myself today and I am happy with what the scale said. I weighed 232.2 lbs which means that I have let go of a total of 101 lbs. I am very happy that I weighed less rather than more and I have more than 100 lbs off.

Seeing my weight gave me the drive to work really hard at the gym today. It was leg day for me and I worked them hard. Then I did 1 hour of cardio and then some abs. It felt really good and I can't wait to go to the gym tomorrow to work my back and triceps. I will have to go to the gym later than my usual time tomorrow because I have an education day at work. Then Brandon has football practice so I will probably go to the gym while he is at practice.

What did you do today for a workout?

I haven't posted my weight in the last little bit because I am a bit scared to get on the scale. Over the weekend I ate out a few times and had a turkey dinner. I am feeling like I am retaining some fluid so I am nervous to get on the scale. I really don't want to step on the scale and see it go up so I am waiting until I am sure that I will be less than the last time I was on the scale.

I am having some trouble with motivating myself to eat well. I have no trouble going to the gym and working hard...I am actually putting some extra time in. I did my usual 2 hours at the gym the other day and then went back in the evening to do the 45 min spin class. So, exercising is no problem, it is the eating part. I find that I can work out as much as I want, but if I don't eat quite right, the scale does not move. It just shows you how important eating right is. I am doing well with my meals, but I find that I want to snack now and then. A little something here, a little something there and a little something later.

I am also not tracking my food these days. I know that I need to but I am just not doing it. I need to tell Todd that he needs to ask me for my food. I bet that will get me back on track. I guess I know what I need to do, I am just having trouble motivating myself to do it.

Mission Statement (updated)

I will cherish every sunrise, embrace and see each day as not just another day, but one filled with opportunity and excitement.

I will live each day with courage and a belief in myself and others.

I will live by the values of integrity, honesty, respect, freedom of choice and a love of all God's people.

I will treasure my family.

I will live each day with respect for myself and others, facing life's challenges as they come and learning from my mistakes in order to become a stronger person.

I pledge my respect to my employers and I will strive every day to earn their respect.

I will keep my mind and body healthy and strong.

I will enrich my life and the lives of all who cross my path or share my hearth, by caring, by affirming their unique worth in love, by giving what I have to give and accepting what they have to give me.

I will be known by my family as a caring and loving wife and mother; by my coworkers as a hardworking and honest person; and by my friends as someone they can count on and trust.

I will help others as best I can and I will thank those who help me along the way.

I will behave in a manner so as to become a light, not a roadblock, for others who chose to follow or lead me.

I will show love rather than expect love.

I will continue to grow personally and professionally by stimulating my mind with new learning.

I will strive to be happy.

At the Gym Today

I was at the gym today and had a pt (personal training) session where I worked my chest and back. I did a variety of pushups and pullups (not really sure what to call them), punches and rows. I am sure that I will be sore tomorrow. But it will be a good sore because I will know that I worked my muscles hard. Which is what I like.

Before my pt session, I did a 10 min warm-up on the treadmill. Then I had some extra time so I did 10 mins on the eliptical. After my pt session I went back at the cardio. I did another 20 mins on the eliptical, 10 mins on the rowing machine, and then 20 mins on the treadmill at the highest incline and I increased my speed. The speed was a little uncomfortable, but I think it is important to take ourselves out of our comfort zone now and then. I find when I take myself out of my comfort zone, I make a lot of progress.

I did a little stretching and then I had a look at the class schedule at the gym. I noticed that there was a spin class at 6:30 pm tonight. It has been a while since I was able to fit a spin class into my schedule, so I decided to go back to the gym after supper.

I did Andrea's 45 min spin class. I worked pretty hard and now I am beat. My whole body is exhausted. Now all I want is a hot bath and a whole body massage. I really wish my husband was home tonight to give me a massage. Anyone want to volunteer their services? LOL

I am going to repost my mission statement as I have made some slight changes and then I am going to bed.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn alot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we did get sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.

-Budda



Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.

-Brian Tracy

Health, Happiness & Love

I know it is a little late. The Thanksgiving weekend is officially over but I believe we should be thankful for what we have all year round. So I thought I would dedicate this post to what I am thankful for.

Health, Happiness, & Love...that is what I am thankful for.

I am so thankful that I took the steps necessary to become a healthier person before I developed a chronic illness. I think that many people take their health for granted and start worring about it when it is too late. I shouldn't say too late, but late enough that their health has been affected and they are working to reverse the damage that has been done to their body.

I am thankful that I can get out of bed every morning and go to the gym. I am thankful that I care and love myself enough to take care of my health by eating healthier. You know what, I actually love healthy food now. When your tastebuds are used to eating junk food, they don't appreciate the taste of REAL food. Now, when I am craving something sweet, I go for fruit. I find most "sweets" way too sweet and I don't enjoy them anymore. That doesn't mean that I won't have a piece of cake when it is someones birthday. I will just have a small piece and there is nothing wrong with that.

I am also thankful that I am happy. I am so happy with my life. I love nursing and I love the unit that I am working on. I am happy to go to work everyday. I feel so fulfilled when leaving work at the end of a 12 hour shift. I am happy and thankful that I have healthy food to eat and a roof over my head. There are many people in this world that cannot say that they have healthy food to eat and a roof over their head. I think it is time for me to see what I can do to help people in this situation.

I am also thankful for love...for the love that I have for my husband, son, family and friends and the love that I receive from my husband, son, family and friends. I can't imagine a life without love. The love between my husband and I has grown so strong over the years. It is funny, when you get married you can't imagine loving anyone more than you love your husband on your wedding day. But every day that you are married your love grows stronger and stronger and as you live your life together you love them more and more every day.

The love that I have for my son has grown also. I love watching him grow up to be the man that he is going to be. I can't wait to see what he does with his life. He is such a kindhearted and giving boy/man. I am very thankful that I was blessed with such an amazing son....I only wish he would do his homework, LOL!

The love that you give and receive from your friends is a unique kind of love. Did you ever hear the saying "Friends are the family you choose for yourself"? I think it is so true. I love my friends like they are family because I think of them as family and we support each other as if we were family. I am thankful that I am blessed with such great friends. I love you all!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving Weekend!

What are you thankful for?

Valley Harvest Marathon

This past Sunday, October 10, 2010, was the Harvest Valley Run in Wolfville. Joey and I both participated as well as friends of ours, Susan & Matthew. Joey and Matthew ran the 1/2 Marathon while Susan and I ran the 5 km run. We all had a great time and we all did awesome!


My morning began at 4:00 am. Now, we were not leaving our hotel until 7:00 am. So, incase you are wondering why I was up so early, I will tell you. I woke up at 4:00 am because I had to pee. Now I don't normally need to get up in the middle of the night to pee, but I did this night. I guess I was really excited. I got back into my warm bed and began thinking of the run. I was going through it in my mind. How the start would be, how the run would be. I don't run very fast, at all and I was thinking that in order for me to go faster, I need to lengthen my stride and run heel to toe. I was thinking of my breathing during the run and how I needed to repeat to myself "I am strong. I can do this.". So I didn't get the best sleep, but when the alarm went off, I was ready to go anyway. I was really excited!


It was a very cold morning but it wasn't snowing and it wasn't boiling hot so I really should not complain. The air temp was actually nice while you were running. It was just very cold waiting for the run to begin.


Joey and Matthew left at 8:30 am for their run and their goal was to run the 1/2 marathon (21.6 kms) in under 2 hours. So, Susan and I were expecting them back around 10:30 am. We watched the start of their run and then went inside for one last pit stop to the ladies room and to get our finger and noses warmed up before the start of our race.


We went outside and found where our race was going to start at. Our start time was 9:15. We did a little walking to warm up and then a few stretches and we were ready to go. My goal for the race was to run the whole 5 kms without stopping or walking and to do it in under 40 mins.


There were all ages in the 5 km run. The youngest was 5 years old and the oldest was 73 years old. The first .7 kms was on the road so it was pavement. I'll tell you, my knees were not liking the pavement too much. Then we turned down to the dyke lands where there was a really nice walking/running trail. At the 1 km mark I looked at my watch and saw that I did the first km in 7 mins and 12 secs. I was really pleased with that. I felt like my knees really settled down durning the 2nd km. They were still sore, but not painful. Before I knew it, I was at the turn-around spot.

While I was getting ready to turn around, I thought, "this is a piece of cake". Then I turned and started running into the wind. It was not a piece of cake, at least it was not a tasty piece of cake! I started to struggle at the 3 km mark. I really noticed the wind and I felt like I was getting tired. I really wanted to stop running for a bit and walk but I pushed through it and made it to the 3.5 km mark. It was not getting any easier. I had to start telling myself "I am strong, I can do this. I am strong, I can do this." I repeated it over and over in my mind and it really helped me alot. Before I knew it I was at the 4 km mark. Now I really felt like I was in the home stretch. I was really tired but I kept moving. I thought "I made it this far, I'm not giving up now".

I ended up passing a few people that had passed me earlier in the race. Then, I could hear the announcer in the stadium and before I knew it, I had made it to the finish line. It felt so good to finish the run and I had reached both the goals that I had set for myself. I ran the whole 5 kms and my time was 38:51. I crossed the finish line and I had tears in my eyes. I was so proud of myself.


Here are my complete stats:
I finished 170th out of 224 participants.
I was 42nd out of 54 women in my age catagory.
My pace was 7:47 mins per km.


My friend Susan finished the run in 43:37 mins. She did so awesome! It was her first run. I think she is hooked. She is already talking about doing another run.


We knew the boys would not be back for a while yet so we went inside to get some snacks and grab the camera. We thought we would head outside about 10 minutes before we expected them to finish.

By the time we got outside, the boys had finished! They finished almost 12 minutes faster than they had expected. They did so well. I am so proud of them both. Joey's time was 1:48:51 and Matthew's time was 1:49:20.

Joey and I after the race.

Joey and I before the race.

After the race we packed up and headed to Brandon's football game. He was playing in Fall River. It was a really good game. The two teams were quite evenly matched. The final score was 17 to 6 for the Highland Renegades. They are now 4 and 1.

We had a great weekend and we have alot to be thankful for.

I went to the gym this morning and I did my chest and triceps. Then I did cardio.
Salmon and spinach salad for supper. Yummy!

Went to the gym after my 12 hour shift today. Worked my legs and did cardio. Needless to say, I am quite tired so I am going for a hot bath and then to bed. Good Night.

Mirrors

For the past many years, I have had what I call an aversion to mirrors. I didn't like looking at myself in them and I still don't.

When Joey and I first got married, we did not have a mirror in our bedroom. So, I didn't look at myself when I was getting dressed, I just went by how the clothes felt. Really, the only time I looked at myself was while I was doing my make-up in a tiny 2 inch by 3 inch mirror. It is really hard to see yourself in such a small mirror. When I would go somewhere and see myself, I was like "Is that really me? No it couldn't be!". I didn't enjoy looking in mirrors because I did not like what I saw in them. I had a vision in my head of what I looked like. Each time I looked in the mirror, I was larger than the time before and I didn't look anything like I thought. Inside, I felt pretty good about myself, but that would change when I actually saw what I looked like. It was always quite a shock.

I started feeling really bad about myself when we got a bedroom set which included a mirror. Now there was no excuse to actually know what I looked like. I saw myself EVERY DAY! I actually saw myself getting larger and larger which made me feel worse and worse about myself. No wonder I don't like mirrors now. They have had such a negative meaning to me for so many years.

Now, when I look in the mirror, I still see the 33 lbs that I want to let go of. I really hope that that will change someday and I can see, and enjoy, the progress that I have made. In my head, I know I have come a long way, but I have trouble seeing it. I don't know if that makes sense but our feelings and thoughts don't always make sense.

That being said, inside, I feel like a million bucks. I feel like a tall slim model (realistically, I know I am not) but I really do feel that way. I am looking forward to the day when I can look at myself and see the progress I've made and be happy with how I look. I know I will get there someday. I am always working on it.

My quads are sooooo sore today...but on the plus side, I had the most wonderful strawberry spinach salad today. My, it was tasty. I must get some more strawberries so I can have another one tomorrow.

What is your favorite salad??? Please share with me, I love new receipes!

At the Gym Today

I went to the gym today. Are you suprised?? Probably not.
I had a personal training session with Todd and we did legs today so that means lots of squats (with 65 lbs of weight) and other stuff. I carried 2 x 45 lbs weights and walked around the gym on my tippy toes, to work out my calves...kind of like walking in stilettos but without the stilettos. My calves will definately be sore tomorrow as well as my glutes and hamstrings. But on the plus side, my calves will look really good in stilettos someday. I did modified burpees and step ups.
Oh, something else I did was carry 100 lbs up the stairs. It sounds like a lot but it put me at the weight that I used to be. I carried it up the stairs and Todd carried it down, it is too hard on my knees to carry that weight down the stairs...no wonder I am still having trouble with my kness. Imagine what they were going through for all these years.
After that leg workout, I did 45 minutes of cardio.

This weekend is race weekend. Joey and I are going to the valley (with some friends of ours). Joey is running the 1/2 marathon and I am supposed to do the 5 km run. I was talking to my physiotherapist about it and he suggested that I only walk it. I haven't run since June and he thinks that it would set my knees back and I really don't want to do that.

You Can Be or Do Anything!

Imagine yourself to be the type of person you want to be, and then be it.
You may have to let go of some bad habits and develop some more positive ones, but don't give up.
For it is only in trying and persisting that dreams come true.

Expect changes to ocur, and realize that the power to make those changes comes from within you.
Your thoughts and actions, they way you spend your time, your choices and decisions determine who you are and who you will become.

You are capable and worthy of being and doing anything.
You just need the discipline and determination to see it through.
It won't come instantly, and you may back slide from time to time, but don't let that deter you.
Never give up!

Life is an ever changing process, and nothing is final.
Therefore, each moment and every new day is a chance to begin anew and see your wishes & dreams come true.

-Barbara Cage

Weight Update

Friday, Oct 1st I weight myself and guess what my weight is.

I now weigh 233.2 lbs which means I have 33 lbs to go until I reach my goal, which means that I have finally let go of 100 lbs!!!

I am so happy to have reached this milestone in my journey. For a while, I didn't think that I was ever going to reach it. I hit a few bumps in the road but I am past them now and am looking forward to letting go of the last 33 lbs. I can't wait for the day when I can say that I weigh 200 lbs! You wouldn't think that a woman would be excited to say that she weighs 200 lbs, but for me it will be sweet!

The last few days have been busy for me so I have not posted much. I was working and at the gym alot (but that is not unusual for me). Joey and I went to Halifax to Adam's birthday party. Thanks for the awesome time Adam, Tammi, and Luke! Also, a big Thanks to Brian, Alix, and Will for letting us crash at your house. Oh, incase you are wondering...I did celebrate with a few drinks! It's OK to celebrate now and then as long as you get back on track the next day.

I hope you were able to get outside and enjoy the sunshine today because there are not going to be many sunny days left.

Exercise is King, nutrition is Queen, but together you have the entire kingdom!

-Jack Lalanne

At The Gym Today

I went to the spin class today and worked my butt off. Then I did 20 mins on the Eliptical. I was pooped after that so I did my stretches and called it a day. Now I am heading for a nap.

What A Feeling

My new favorite song is What A Feeling by Irene Cara. Most people know it as the song from the movie Flashdance. I heard it one day recently and it really touched me. You can see the video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILWSpOm92G2U

Here are the lyrics to the song:

First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel, made of stone

Well I hear the music, close my eyes, feel the rhythm
Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

[Chorus]
What a feeking, bein's believin'
I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life
Take your pasison, and make it hppen
Pictures come alive, you can dance right rhough your life

Now I hear the music, close my eyes, I am rhythm
In a flash it takes hold of my heart

[Chorus]
What a feeling, ,bein's believin'
I can have it all, now I'm dancing through my life
Take your passion, and make it happen
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

What a feeling

What a feeling (I am music now), bein's believin' (I am rhythm now)
Ppictures come alive, you cn dance right through your life
What a feeling (I can really have it all)
What a feeling (Pictures come alive when I call)
I can have it all (I can really have it all)
Have it all (Pictures come alive when I call)
(call, call, call, call, what a feeling) I can hace it all
(Vein's believin') bein's believin
(Take your passion, make it happen) make it happen
(What a feeling) what a feeling...