I know it has been a while since I posted...please don't be mad!

I have a few things to update you on. The first being that I found out that my scale at home is no longer accurate. Remember when I posted that I had let go of 9 lbs in about a week and a half. Well, as it turns out my scale is off by about 6 lbs which means that I had let go of only 3 lbs in a week and a half instead of 9 lbs. Needless to say I was a little dissapointed when I found that out because I thought I had only 24 lbs to go and now I have 30 lbs to go. 30 seems like so much more than 24. I know that I will eventually get to my goal and I also know that it is more about how you feel than the actual number on the scale. I do feel awesome and I have to remember that I have some along way in a year...so what's another 6 lbs!

On February 18th, I was at work and was faced with MANY temptations. There were treats galore and it was really hard not to indulge and have some of them. I told my trainer about these treats and the temptations that I face at work sometimes and he told me to think of the treats as "contaminated crack needles that will kill you". I know that it sounds harsh but when you think about it, it really is true. People with addictions to crack and other drugs have an uncontrollable desire to keep doing crack which is definately something that can lead to their death. For me, my "crack", is food. I have been dealing with an addiction to food but we don't think of food as something that can kill us because we need to eat to survive. Eating one cheeseburger is definately not going to kill someone but years and years of eating unhealthy with no exercise can lead to health issues that can lead to death. So from now on, I am going to look at treats as contaminated crack needles that will kill me. If I envision them as crack needles, I am more likely to resist the temptation.

The same evening, I was leaving work and had planned to go to the gym to do an hour of cardio. I left work and pulled into the parking lot at Goodlife Fitness. I really did not feel like going to the gym which is really unusual for me. I had not had an opportunity to eat anything since lunch time so my body was really tired. I sat in the parking lot for a minute or two and decided to send a text to Todd, my trainer. This is what I said "I am sitting outside the gym...please tell me I don't have to go in". I didn't get a reply right away so I sat there for a few minutes longer. Then I decided to drive around town while I ate my orange. I went up the street and back down the street and I was starting to feel like I had more energy but by this time I was thinking that I should just go home anyway. So I headed for home.

I got to my road in St. Andrews and all of a sudden my phone started ringing. It was a text from Todd. This is what it said, "Horse pucky! When in doubt, tell yourself...Everytime I step in that gym I am changing my life forever!" I read it and I thought, "I definately want to change my life". So I turned around in the next driveway and went back to the gym. I ended up doing about 50 minutes of cardio. It felt really good to be there knowing that I am changing my life every time I go to the gym and I know that I made the right decision by turning around and going back. I must say that it is awesome having a trainer like Todd in my corner. He really understands my issues and he knows exactly what to say to keep me motivated. Thank You, Todd!

This is turning out to be a blog post about all my bad days and there have been a few lately. So here is another one for you...

On Wednesday February 23rd, I was planning to go to the gym to train my legs and do my normal amount of cardio. Well, I had been feeling really tired physically and mentally the days prior to that so when I got up in the morning I was questioning if I should go to the gym or not. I was feeling tired physically. Partly because I had worked really hard at the gym the day before and partly because I did not get as much sleep as I normally do and maybe my nutrition was not as good as it normally is.

My mental state was not great that day either. I was allowing myself to think very negatively. I was struggling with thoughts about my weight (the number on the scale). The scale has not really moved much in the last while and I was allowing myself to think that I was destined to be this weight forever. That maybe I was meant to be 215 lbs and size 14 - 16 FOREVER.

Also, I was planning to train my legs and my knee had still been bothering me and I allowed myself to think that I was not going to be able to get a good workout in with the way my knee felt (which I know is not true). I was very frustrated with my knee because I want to be running on the treadmill and doing lunges and my weighted sumo squats with full range of motion but doing all that really hurts my knee. I was also thinking that at this rate, my knee is never going to get better and it is going to keep holding me back. I decided to go to the gym anyway because I want to change my life and any workout is better than no workout. Right?

I went to the gym and did my regular warm-up, still thinking my negative thoughts. I went on to train my legs and usually I do 2 exercises and then I do something cardio based for 30 secs to get my heart rate up. Well, I skipped out on the cardio part using the excuse that it hurt my knee too much and went on with my work out. I finished all my exercises but 2 machines, the thigh abductor and adductor which works the inner and outer thighs. There was someone else on the machines so I decided to do some abs while I waited. I finished one set of abs and the machines were free. So I put my ball and weights that I use for my abs away and was on my way to the thigh machines. Well, before I reached them, someone else got to the machines. At this point I thought I might as well go home so I went to the locker room and sat there for a few minutes. I don't like leaving part of my legs untrained so I went back out and the machines were free. After, I decided to call it a day even though I had not done any cardio.

On my way out of the gym, I met Todd and he asked me how my workout went. I told him exactly how it was. That I was really not into it today and that I was allowing myself to think really negatively and this is what he said to me. "Each time we walk into the gym, we choose our mood. It is our choice to have a good day or a bad day." I know that he is right on this one. I allowed myself to have the negative thoughts which lead me to having a bad day. Had I choose to think positively, my day would have been way different. I told him that tomorrow is another day and I will make better choices.

You know what, the next day, I got up and choose to be happy and positive and I had an outstanding day!

So, I ask you, what mood/thoughts have you chosen to have today?

After reading this post, I think that you can see how invaluable it is for me to have a trainer. Not only do I need someone telling me what to do in the gym for physical exercise, I also need someone to make sure that my mind isn't my worst enemy!

Yesterday, I was unable to work at the gym like I usually due because I was wearing a gadget called a halter monitor. I was unable to sweat very much because the leads would not stick and I was unable to take a shower for 24 hours. You really don't want to be around me after I go to the gym and am unable to shower!

So, today I had to make up for the short day yesterday and boy did I every make up for it. I went a little nuts. I was at the gym at around 9:30 and I left the gym at 2:30. Now, I had spent some time in the sauna and I did some tanning and I took a really long shower which took up about an hour.

Here is what I did at the gym today:
Treadmill - 20 minutes
EFX Elliptical - intervals for 20 minutes
Precor Elliptical - 20 minutes
Abs
Some legs
Bike - 15 minutes (I took it easy because I didn't want to tire my legs before spin class).
Spin Class - 45 minutes
Then I did lots of stretching. I must say that my flexibility has really increased in the last few weeks.

So that was my day at the gym. I am really tired now and I am going to relax for the night and watch a movie.

Oh, I don't think I told you about my new tattoo yet. I got a new one on my foot that says
"333.4 Never Again" There is a star before and after it. I really like it. I will post a picture of it sometime soon. It is still in the healing stage so it does not look the best yet.

I hope everyone had a good day and stayed safe. It was nasty out there this morning but the sun came out in the afternoon.

So it has been a while since I have posted. I have been keeping quite busy. I have been working hard at the gym and eating well (with a few treats now and then).

My weight today was 209.0 lbs, which means that I have let go of 124.4 lbs and I have 24 lbs to get to my goal. I am really happy to see the drop in my weight because it seems like I have been working hard since Christmas and I have not seen a lot of results for the work that I have been putting in. In the past week and a half I have let go of about 9lbs. Which I think is amazing!

My knee is still giving me some grief. It was feeling quite a bit better so I ran on the treadmill yesterday and it was not to bad while I was running. It was really sore last night and today though, so maybe it is not quite ready for running yet.

Exciting Day!

I have something really exciting to tell you about! It may not be exciting to some but for me it is really exciting. I was in the mall at Canadian Tire getting some keys cut and then I had to go to my doctors office to make an appointment. On the way I was passing the clothing store Eclipse.

Now for years, I have been passing by the store and would never look in because I knew that there was no way that I would be able to shop there, so I would just walk by. Lately, when walking in the mall, I have been looking in the store but still afraid to look too much or go in because I was not sure that the clothes would fit me. I really don't want to walk into a store and find out that there is no way that the clothes would fit. Today, I felt brave and I walked in the store and looked around, and guess what...I FOUND LOTS OF CLOTHES THAT FIT!!

It was a really big deal for me. To know that I can shop in that store that I thought I would never be able to shop in! I was paying for my shirt and 2 tanktops and I actually had tears in my eyes. The lady at the cash must have thought that I was a nut job, but I really don't care.

In one year, I have gone to having 2 stores to shop in to a whole lot of stores that I can shop in. I also can't believe the difference in price. I can buy a t-shirt for $10 now when before I would be lucky to get a t-shirt for $25 and I would have to travel to New Glasgow to get it.

Another thing that I realized just the other day is that when I am getting ready for the gym it doesn't matter what towel I grab. Before, I used to have to make sure that I got a beach towel because the regular bath towels would not cover me completely and I really did not want to be exposing any part of myself at the gym. It feels so nice to just grab a towel and not have to worry about the size of the towel.