Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I have been kind of quiet on here lately. I have been quite busy and have not had very much time to myself. I feel like I need a break but it will have to wait until after the holidays. It seems that there is just too much to do and not enough time to complete it all.

I haven't been doing so well with my nutrition lately. I am going to the gym and working out lots, like usual, but I have been giving in to too many temptations in the past few weeks and not preparing healthy food ahead of time. My weight has stayed about the same, fluctuating within a pound or so. I had wanted to get another 5 lbs off so that my New Year's dress would fit a bit better, but it does not look like that I going to happen.

I really want to be at my goal weight but it seems that when the temptations cross my path, I forget that I have a goal...or maybe I want the temptation more than I want my goal at the time. It could also be more of an emotional thing. I used to be an emotional eater and I thought that I had changed that about myself. I guess I still need to work at it.

Right now I am very tired physically and emotionally and I want to eat all sugary and salty things. Thank goodness I don't have anything in the house that is full of sugar or salt because I would eat it all right now and I am too tired to drive to the store to get it.

I was so tired physically after the gym that I actually had a nap! I don't have naps anymore. It is so unlike me to be so tired. I think my body is telling me that it needs a rest. I will have a hard time getting to the gym over the next week or so because of my work schedule and that may be a good thing. Hopefully, it will give my body the rest it needs.

I also find myself really emotional today. I was doing the dishes and thinking about how I changed my life in a positive way and I teared up. I was wondering how my life would be right now if I had not worked on getting healthier. I definately would not be as happy as I am now. Then, I had feelings of being very selfish. I am spending a lot of time and money on going to the gym and buying new clothes and how a lot of attention has been put on me and my weight and I began to wonder if I am missing things that are going on in Brandon and Joey's life. I must take the time to talk to them about this. I was also thinking how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband and son.

I know what it is that I need to do to get my nutrition back on track, I just don't seem to be doing it. I need to start making better decisions. I am hoping that the New Year will bring my drive and determination to reach my goal back to me.

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